How Swaziland Has Ruined My Social Life

As I get more and more excited about coming home for a month before starting my 3rd year extension, I've been thinking about all the changes that have occurred in my social behaviors during the last two years. This is the beginning of, no doubt, a much longer list of ways in which I will have become socially awkward / uncouth / weird in America. Tentative dates for this trip home are July 20th - August 23rd!!! If you still want to see me (please first read the list below :-P) when I'm home, my planner and I are making play dates!! Can't wait!

1. Saying “now now” or “soon soon”.
2. Not recognizing a pick up line that isn’t “Will you marry me?”.
3. Fearing to be out after dark because of snakes, criminals and/or disappointing Babe Vilakati (PC Safety and Security Officer).
4. Preparing food for friends using dishes that have had a plethora of other foods in it to save water.
5. Keeping my cell phone in my bra.
6. Talking really fast on the phone to save people airtime.
7. Wrtin lik this in txt2keep msg w/in lil space.cause costs=70cent/msg:-/
8. Using an umbrella in the summer to protect my white butt from the intense African sun.
9. Wearing only a lihiya (long piece of clothe) when it is really really hot.
10. Being utterly surprised when people show up to things on time.
11. Staring blankly when someone makes a reference to any widely known media, technology, or cultural event that has occurred in the last 2 years.
12. Giving things with my right hand while grabbing my right elbow with my left hand.
13. Saying “ncesi” (sorry) when people fall, drop things, or hurt themselves.
14. “Attempting” to have matching outfits.
15. Showing off my bright, neon white thighs that haven’t seen sun for 2 years.
16. Wearing longer skirts/shorts, not because I’m ashamed of my white thighs, but because it now feels completely indecent to have my knees visible.
17. Saying a very punctuated “How. Are. You?” to anyone under the age of 12.
18. Freaking out when getting to taste my first real American pizza, margarita, and bagel.
19. Using words like boot (trunk), buckee (truck), or Is it? (Really?)
20. Forgetting that people only want to hear about Swaziland for about 5 minutes.
21. 7:30 bed time
22. Having every conversation turn into a condom or male circumcision talk.


These are goofy pictures during the book project. The "evolution" staircase was created while we were waiting for the final school to pick up their order. We had obviously all lost our minds. :-P

Mountains of Books and Waterfalls

May 15th, 2011
12:44pm

It is very good to be home. I left site on April 25th with the intention of coming back once our Close of Service Conference finished on the 30th. As plans usually change in Africa, I didn’t return until May 10th! I am happy to report, though, that the books have arrived, all 30,000 of them are sorted, and they have been delivered to their expectant and excited schools.

Peace Corps treated us very well for our finally conference. We stayed at an establishment named Forrester’s Arms located about 25km away from the capitol city. I was gorgeous, had the BEST food I have ever had, and was situated in a very rare oak grove. With the trees changing colors due to the winter season approaching I got my first taste of Fall in two years!! All of the volunteers felt very spoiled and didn’t want to leave after our sessions ended. Many of these informative meetings did not pertain to me or my fellow extending volunteers, but we stashed the handouts and information to be used next year.

Right in the middle of our workshop Brooke and I were given the news that the books had finally arrived in Swaziland and would need to be unloaded Friday morning at the very latest! Our conference was wrapping up that morning, but everyone was heading to the office afterward to attend our Country Director’s ring out ceremony and farewell party. While others were enjoying tea and scones during breaks Brooke and I were on our phones trying to get an unloading crew together. Amazing as our friends are, we had 8 people go with us to meet the gigantic train cart filled with 20 pallets or 632 boxes of books. It is still shocking that we got all of the boxes off the very high truck and into the very small warehouse area in less than 2 hours. Our muscles were sore, we were bruised and cardboard scratched, but they had finally landed. We could get them sorted and out in a week… not. Gavin, the manager of the warehouse, informed us that it was the Swazi Labour Day Weekend and thus we were not allowed to start sorting until Tuesday. Any other weekend of the year we could work, but since this was a “workers holiday” we weren’t allowed. It was going to be more expensive for me and Brooke to go home and back then staying the few days in another volunteer’s place, so we were stuck. We got some preliminary strategies outlined for how we were going to tackle the monster and caught up on the media stored in our computers. :-)

Tuesday arrived and so did our volunteer sorting crew. Tuesday and Wednesday were very very long days. We came across boxes and boxes of “War Planes” and “Life in a Desert”. Getting these books dispersed amongst the schools and playing the largest, hardest game of Tetris ever imagined were quite challenging. Our space was so limited that we couldn’t create 30 groupings of boxes until some of the stock was diminished. We couldn’t diminish the stock until we had groupings for the schools. Calling it Tetris is actually an understatement. Somehow we busted through it and having unloaded on a separate day and working hard we got done sorting a day early! Friday was a wonderful break for all of us to go into the office, participate in a Group 6 friend’s ring out ceremony, get town tasks done, and avoid all mention of the written word.

Saturday the first group of schools came to pick up their books. Many schools had decided to re-schedule their pick-up time when it landed on a Saturday, so we were done early afternoon on Saturday. We took advantage of that free time to visit the single movie theatre in Swaziland. None of us were familiar with the movies being shown, but we decided to see “Thor”. I got popcorn. :-P

There were no school pick-ups scheduled for Sunday, because generally this is considered the day to attend church. Our sorting crew took this time to get our own things done. I ran, did laundry, and talked to my Mom on Mother’s Day. Toward the evening we decided to climb part of the small mountain on the outskirts of the community we were staying in and build a fire next to the most gorgeous and serene waterfall in Swaziland. We came prepared with hotdogs and s’more-esk ingredients (there are not any real graham crackers, Hershey’s chocolate, or non-flavored marshmallows). The waterfall crashes into a calm pool of water before skirting around the boulders damming it and continuing its travels down the mountain. It is widely believed that there is a seven headed snake that lives in this watering hole (to learn more read “Swimming with the Seven Headed Snake” blog entry). Other than the remains of thoroughly used candles for what we imagine are religious practices, there was no sign of human or snake life. We, thus, decided to go for a midnight (actually around 9pm), candlelit swim. It was freezing, but after 2 minutes of hating the individual that suggested the dive I absolutely loved it!

Monday and Tuesday were blissfully uneventful. The schools came mostly “on time”, and the books were dispersed throughout the nation. Tuesday afternoon I raced to catch my last bus home. Now the hard work begins. :-) Tomorrow I start making my rounds to the Ekuphumleni schools and make for sure that the books are being processed, shelved, and inevitably used by children!

I am so very grateful to all of you who helped fund this amazing project! I also have to give a shout out to all of the volunteers who helped with the sorting, the workshop, and those who got their schools involved with the project. Lastly and most importantly, my partner in this magnanimous endeavor made this not only possible but an enjoyable experience for everyone involved. Thank you all so much!!

Swimming with the Seven Headed Snake

May 15th, 2011
2:15pm

As previously mentioned in the blog entry “Mountains of Books and Waterfalls”, there is a seven headed snake living in the base of the waterfall that I swam in. Other than the complete “ick” and “awesome!” factors that somehow coincide, this discovery peaked my interest in this Swazi cultural monster. Thus, I asked around for more information and got a slew of interesting answers.

According to my sources (PCV friend living in snake inhabited community, host brother Sandile, and community friend Fikile) this snake is definitely demonic. (Is anything with seven heads ever good? :-P) It can lure people to it by transforming itself. The two examples given to me were a duck and a pretty woman. Once you approach the disguised snake it will transform back to its original scaly body and pull you under the water. Few make surface alive, but those who do have special, though demonic, powers.

Two of my three sources discussed the relationship with the snake moving and the weather. If the snake is out the sky will be cloudy and black. Once a dam or water source is low, the snake must move to another one. There is a general belief that there is multiple powerful and evil snakes residing in Swaziland, but the seven headed one is reserved for the Zombodze community (waterfall location).

Two denominations of Swazi Christians are whispered to be worshippers of the snake: the Jericos and the ZCC (I don’t exactly know what this stands for). The candle remains that we found at the pool of water are said to be left by the Jerico church. They collect the regurgitated water and snake saliva mixture, somehow found at the waterfall base, because it has healing properties. There are many healing rituals that are spoke of at this place which include an induced vomiting practice and a umuti (traditional/herbal medicine) inhalation ceremony using boiled water from the waterfall. I’m very interested to talk to someone from the Jerico church (usually identifiable by colorful, twisted ropes tied around their head and robed waist on Sundays) to verify any of these customs.

When asked why the snake did not attack us the answer was “because you are white”. Swazis are rumored to die by the fang of the snake, but white people do not. My bhuti (brother) told me that the white men gave the snake an offering of a very large bag of silver coins and it was pleased with the monetary sacrifice. He also said that I was there with more than three people, which decreased my risk of being taken into the depths of the ~13 foot pool by the murderous fiend.

The last story I can share with you regarding the infamous seven headed snake was also told to me by my bhuti. He spent some time with extended family members who reside in Zombodze a few years ago. While there, he helped them put large pipes from the mountain river to their homestead. He received a call from them about a month later. The pipes had been “twisted” and no longer transported the clean water to the community. This was put forth as proof to the existence of the seven headed demon snake. True story.