Boys Will Be Boys, Girls Will Be Girls, Zodwa Will Be Both!

Monday, February 8th 2010
6:44 pm

A week or two ago I accompanied Make to assist in the building of the new secondary school about an hour walk from my homestead. She informed me that we were putting up the roof portion of the structure. I was clad in my “working skirt” ready to jump into some good physical labor. When we arrived on the scene there was one man pecking at the work of a cross beam with about four teenage boys watching him. The construction site consisted of a little 3x3m tin storage room, a JoJo tank (large water storage unit with a tap), and a the shell of a 3 room cement block building with some wood crossbeams in place.
When I asked how I could help, a small bucket of dishes were produced from the storage room and I was told I could wash them. Hmmmm… not quite what I was thinking, but if it helps, why not? A bit later my Make and a few other women who showed up left to buy some more maize meal for a lunch I was just realizing was going to be made at the site. I sat and talked while I waited for what I thought was going to be the start of the construction. Except for the one man, that’s what everyone else was doing… waiting.
About an hour later things really got hoppin’… sort of. A goat was produced and every man and boy was busy butchering it, even the one man who was somewhat working earlier. I was in charge of cutting vegetables for the soup/sauce that would be put over the liphalishi (cooked maize meal in the consistency of really thick, dry mashed potatoes). When the men were finished with the goat it was brought back to the three legged pots placed over the fires and they started back on the building at just about the same pace. I was then told I was to boil the meat (pretty much the only way meat is prepared here). At this point it finally hit me. I was not there to help build but to cook!! They couldn’t grasp that I was definitely more skilled and experienced with construction than with cooking, and any mention of me helping the men brought laughter to all. All but me… I wanted to see some progress made on that building, which was not really happening!
Once the food was finished, around 1pm, it was also declared the end of the work day! I helped dish up the food onto plates while the men went into a meeting about the finishing of the school. A Make handed me two plates to take into the room for the men. I would be lying if this didn’t irk me a little… ok, it irked me a lot! I was not allowed to help the men build (many of whom didn’t really do anything) and then I had to serve them with a culturally appropriate, respectful, slight bow!
This situation is a great example of how difficult it is to balance the need and want of a volunteer to be culturally integrated into their community, while at the same time really wanting to show cultural diversity and equality amongst the genders. In hindsight, I may have handled things a bit differently, but I don’t really know how. Without understanding a lot of what is being discussed in siSwati, I have usually followed the lead of others during community events like this. This day it so happened to be my Make. All other things aside, it was a really great time for me to bond with my host Mother over boiled meat and intestines. :-P If that building is left up to those men, though, it won’t be done for years!
Another, semi-related event occurred the last time I biked to Brandon and Laura’s to join them for a World Vision meeting. When I greeted a boy who was walking on the street he responded with “Yebo, Bhuti”. “Yebo” means “yes” and is the proper response, but “bhuti” means “brother” and should have been “sisi” or “sister”!! The song from West Side Story immediately jumped into my head, “I feel pretty, oh so pretty. I feel pretty, and witty, and gay”! Of course I was a sweaty mess, with shorts, shades, and helmet on, but a boy, geeze!! :-P I then got to thinking about how many girls I have seen riding bikes in my community… zero. The few times I see bikes in my community they are being ridden by men our older boys. When I asked my sisi if girls are allowed to ride bikes, she said that they know how they just don’t do it. Again, Zodwa is breaking the common gender roles!
Now that I am pretty firmly accepted into the community, I may even start wearing pants ever so often! Gasp! Actually, as far as traditional gender attire goes, my community is a bit more modern then other rural areas I have heard of. Maybe 5-10% of younger women wear pants on occasion. So, it’s not a completely unacceptable practice. When it gets cooler, then maybe my couple pairs of neglected pants will be pulled out from storage (under my bed) and make a fashion statement in the community. :-)