How Swaziland Has Ruined My Social Life

As I get more and more excited about coming home for a month before starting my 3rd year extension, I've been thinking about all the changes that have occurred in my social behaviors during the last two years. This is the beginning of, no doubt, a much longer list of ways in which I will have become socially awkward / uncouth / weird in America. Tentative dates for this trip home are July 20th - August 23rd!!! If you still want to see me (please first read the list below :-P) when I'm home, my planner and I are making play dates!! Can't wait!

1. Saying “now now” or “soon soon”.
2. Not recognizing a pick up line that isn’t “Will you marry me?”.
3. Fearing to be out after dark because of snakes, criminals and/or disappointing Babe Vilakati (PC Safety and Security Officer).
4. Preparing food for friends using dishes that have had a plethora of other foods in it to save water.
5. Keeping my cell phone in my bra.
6. Talking really fast on the phone to save people airtime.
7. Wrtin lik this in txt2keep msg w/in lil space.cause costs=70cent/msg:-/
8. Using an umbrella in the summer to protect my white butt from the intense African sun.
9. Wearing only a lihiya (long piece of clothe) when it is really really hot.
10. Being utterly surprised when people show up to things on time.
11. Staring blankly when someone makes a reference to any widely known media, technology, or cultural event that has occurred in the last 2 years.
12. Giving things with my right hand while grabbing my right elbow with my left hand.
13. Saying “ncesi” (sorry) when people fall, drop things, or hurt themselves.
14. “Attempting” to have matching outfits.
15. Showing off my bright, neon white thighs that haven’t seen sun for 2 years.
16. Wearing longer skirts/shorts, not because I’m ashamed of my white thighs, but because it now feels completely indecent to have my knees visible.
17. Saying a very punctuated “How. Are. You?” to anyone under the age of 12.
18. Freaking out when getting to taste my first real American pizza, margarita, and bagel.
19. Using words like boot (trunk), buckee (truck), or Is it? (Really?)
20. Forgetting that people only want to hear about Swaziland for about 5 minutes.
21. 7:30 bed time
22. Having every conversation turn into a condom or male circumcision talk.


These are goofy pictures during the book project. The "evolution" staircase was created while we were waiting for the final school to pick up their order. We had obviously all lost our minds. :-P